YouTuber and actor Bhuvan Bam recently opened up about grief, happiness and how comedy has helped him navigate some of life’s most difficult moments. Reflecting on how painful memories often resurface in solitude, the Taaza Khabar actor said he has learnt to find humour even in tragedy—a perspective that has helped him cope with grief and keep moving forward.

“When you sit idle and look at life, you only remember the worst times of your life. How do you cope with that? You need someone to speak to; you need something to look at and laugh at,” Bhuvan said.

The actor added that comedy has become a way of connecting with people going through difficult times. He recalled receiving messages from viewers late at night, often between 2 am and 4 am, telling him how his videos had helped them cope with personal struggles.

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“I get drunk messages between 2.00 am to 4.00 am. They send me links to my YouTube videos; they say, ‘Brother, this line which you have said in it. I have left home because of this. Because I think that I will not be able to do anything by sitting here. I have to leave. Thank you for this,’” he shared.

Bhuvan said such messages have stayed with him, particularly when viewers tell him that something they watched on BB Ki Vines changed their lives or gave them a phrase they could use with friends.

“I get so many such messages that, after watching BB Ki Vines, people have noticed some or the other change in their lives, or they found a catchphrase to say in front of their friends. That makes me so happy, and it keeps me going. And comedy is the best way to put your thoughts,” he said.

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Why do painful memories surface when we are alone?

Dr Rimpa Sarkar, psychologist, PhD, Sentier Wellness, Mumbai, explained that when people are alone or have fewer distractions, their attention can naturally turn inward. This can cause them to revisit emotionally significant experiences, including painful memories.

“Negative or painful memories can have a stronger psychological pull because the brain tends to pay attention to experiences associated with threat, loss or unresolved emotions,” she said.

The expert highlighted that humour can provide emotional distance from difficult experiences. By looking at something painful from a different perspective, a person may be able to reduce its emotional intensity and make it easier to manage.

When does humour become avoidance?

Finding humour in painful experiences is not necessarily a sign that a person is ignoring their emotions. Dr Rimpa said humour can be a healthy coping mechanism when it allows someone to acknowledge their pain while creating some psychological distance from it.

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However, it can become problematic when jokes are used constantly to avoid confronting difficult emotions. “It becomes avoidance when a person uses jokes constantly to prevent themselves from acknowledging, discussing or experiencing difficult emotions,” she said.

If humour becomes the only way a person can approach painful experiences, or if they feel uncomfortable whenever genuine emotions arise, it may be functioning as emotional avoidance rather than emotional processing, Dr Rimpa explained.