Her comments come amid another conversation around appearance policing, with Katrina Kaif facing trolling over postpartum weight. “The circumstances are different, but the underlying psychological message is strikingly similar: a woman’s body is allowed to go through life, but she is often judged when her body shows evidence that life has happened. A woman can give birth, but is expected to quickly erase the physical evidence of pregnancy. She can grow older, but should conceal the visible evidence of age. Her hormones change, her metabolism changes, her hair may grey, her skin and body evolve, yet the acceptable image of her is somehow expected to remain frozen. Perhaps the impossible instruction is: Live your life, but don’t look like life has happened to you,” reflected Delnna Rrajesh, psychotherapist and relationship breakthrough coach.

Story continues below.
Subscribe to see fewer ads.

“Ageing does bring genuine changes. Bodies may become less resilient, health concerns may increase, menopause and other biological transitions can be difficult, people we love may be lost and certain possibilities may narrow. We should not counter ageism with the equally unrealistic claim that “age is just a number”. Age can matter. But changing capacity should never be confused with diminishing human worth,” emphasised Delnna.

Ageing is inevitable

A woman should not have to look young. She should not have to prove that she is comfortable looking old. “She should simply have the freedom to look like herself, however she chooses to define that at different stages of her life,” said Delnna.

Healthy ageing can involve strength, mobility, nutrition, preventive healthcare, skincare, fitness and mental wellbeing. “But psychologically, there is a significant difference between taking care of the body that is ageing and fighting the body because it is ageing,” said Delnna.

Perhaps our discomfort with ageing is partly our discomfort with mortality

Story continues below this ad

There may be an even deeper psychological layer beneath our obsession with youth. “An ageing face reminds us that time passes. Wrinkles, greying hair and changing bodies make visible something none of us can ultimately control. Perhaps some of our discomfort with ageing in others reflects discomfort with our own vulnerability. This is why Razdan describing her age as a “badge of honour” carries such weight. Not everybody receives the privilege of reaching 69,” shared Delnna.

That does not mean ageing should be romanticised. “Someone experiencing illness, bereavement, loneliness or physical limitations does not need to be told to “just be grateful”. Ageing can contain loss alongside gratitude. Growing older can be difficult. Growing older can also be a privilege. Both truths can coexist,” said Delnna.

Perhaps the goal was never to remain young. It was to remain as healthy as possible, curious, connected, purposeful, and alive for as long as life allows.