Ranveer Singh may share a warm bond with his wife Deepika Padukone’s mother today, but their relationship did not get off to an easy start. On Koffee With Karan Season 8, the Dhurandhar actor opened up about how he eventually won over his mother-in-law despite their rocky beginnings.

“I’ve gone into the room in their Bangalore home, and I’ve put my ear to the door, and outside Amma and Deepika are having it out. She was like, ‘Who is this guy?! He proposed marriage, and you have said yes also?'” he shared with host Karan Johar.

Continuing, Singh said: “Then it took obviously a lot of years and a lot of work on my part to make a place for myself in Amma’s heart. It has happened, and I’m one of her favourite people in the whole world.”

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Dr Rimpa Sarkar, clinical psychologist and founder of Sentier Wellness, Mumbai, says that if a relationship with the in-laws starts on a difficult note, the first thing to remember is that you do not have to force immediate closeness. Trust is usually built through repeated, respectful interactions rather than one big gesture, she tells indianexpress.com.

What helps?

Dr Sarkar suggested a few tips to bridge the gap:

1. Do not try too hard to win their approval. Be respectful and warm, but remain authentic. Trying to constantly prove yourself can create resentment and make the relationship feel performative.

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2. Give them time to revise their first impression.

If someone initially disapproves of you, they may have formed that opinion based on limited information, fears or expectations. Consistent behaviour over time is often more powerful than arguments.

3. Look for small points of connection

Shared interests, food, family traditions, humour, children or even everyday routines can create familiarity. You do not need to have a deep emotional bond immediately.

Ranveer Singh and Deepika Padukone married in 2018. (Source: Instagram/@deepikapadukone)

4. Avoid making your partner choose sides

A partner can support you without turning every disagreement into “me versus my family.” Ideally, the couple should communicate privately, while disagreements with in laws are handled with appropriate boundaries and respect.

5. Set boundaries without creating unnecessary hostility

Respect does not mean accepting interference in every aspect of your marriage. Couples need to decide what belongs to the couple and communicate those boundaries calmly and consistently.

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6. Do not keep score

If every interaction becomes a calculation of who called whom, who visited whom or who made the first effort, the relationship can remain stuck in its original conflict.

7. Accept that closeness and respect are different

You may never become extremely close to your in laws, and that does not necessarily mean the relationship has failed. Sometimes a respectful, comfortable relationship with healthy boundaries is a perfectly good outcome.

Most importantly, Dr Sarkar says that the partner has a significant role in creating this bridge.

“When someone feels accepted and protected within their marriage, it becomes easier for them to gradually build a relationship with the extended family without feeling that they have to earn their place,” she shares in conclusion.

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