Celebrity couple Anushka Ranjan and Aditya Seal recently opened up about dealing with classist remarks about their relationship and financial independence. On Neha Dhupia and Angad Bedi’s podcast, the two spoke about assumptions they have faced from family and friends, including comments suggesting Ranjan’s family must have helped her buy their house.

The couple shared, “Kaafi log yahi bolte hein, ghar jo khareeda maine, oh acha family ne help ki hogi, I don’t get affected by it..mujhe pata hai mai kya hu…Arey Ranjans hai na, kar lenge. I have heard this amongst family and friends…Ranjans ne paala thodi hai na Seal ko. Upar se Seal mujhe paal raha hai, 1 year se I have been pregnant.” (Many people say things like, ‘Of course, her family must have helped her buy the house.’ I don’t let it affect me. I know who I am. They say, ‘They’re the Ranjans, they can manage it.’ I’ve heard this even within family and among friends. It’s not as if the Ranjans have supported or taken care of Aditya. In fact, Aditya has been supporting me, especially since I’ve been pregnant for the past year.)

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Such remarks may appear casual, but they can reflect deeper assumptions about money, family background and who is expected to provide in a relationship. According to Dr Pavitra Shankar, Associate Consultant Psychiatrist at Aakash Healthcare, these assumptions can influence how people perceive a couple, even when they know little about their actual relationship.

Why do people judge relationships based on wealth?

“Traditionally, family background and financial status have been considered indicators of compatibility, stability and social standing,” says Dr Shankar. This can lead people to assess a relationship based on social and economic factors rather than the couple’s emotional bond or individual choices.

There can also be an expectation that the person from the wealthier or more influential family should have greater power or responsibility within the relationship.

“But such assumptions can overlook the couple’s real dynamics, emotional bond and individual choices,” she says. “You don’t get to understand a relationship by just looking at a person’s surname, family wealth or social standing.”

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Can ‘jokes’ about money take a toll?

“Even innocent fun can hurt with classist comments,” says Dr Shankar. Such remarks can build feelings of inadequacy, shame or resentment and may put pressure on couples to prove their relationship to others.

Over time, one partner may begin to internalise the stereotypes being directed at them, affecting their self-esteem and potentially creating tension within the relationship. “Humour does not make a hurtful or prejudiced comment any less hurtful or prejudiced,” she adds.

Why is earning power often tied to a person’s worth?

According to Dr Shankar, money has traditionally been associated with masculinity, success and personal worth. This can create the perception that the partner who earns more is automatically more valuable or capable.

“In fact, relationships involve many forms of contribution — emotional support, caregiving and household responsibilities and professional or personal sacrifices,” she says. Financial independence can be valuable, but it should not become the sole measure of an individual’s worth or contribution to a relationship.

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How can couples deal with intrusive comments?

The first step, says Dr Shankar, is for couples to remain clear about the nature of their own relationship rather than allowing outside opinions to define it.

“Couples can feel secure in setting boundaries and saying, ‘That’s out of line’ to family or friends,” she says. Partners should also support each other privately instead of becoming defensive with one another when faced with criticism from others.

A simple response such as, “Our financial or family backgrounds do not determine how much we value each other,” can help establish a boundary without unnecessarily escalating the situation, she adds.

Ultimately, a couple’s financial circumstances or family background may shape parts of their lives, but they do not, by themselves, determine the strength, value, or dynamics of their relationship.

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