Playback singer Shaan has been a prominent voice in Bollywood for nearly three decades. Having lent his voice to innumerable movie tracks and winning the National Award, Shaan’s legacy comes with considerable success and fame. During a recent interaction with Blue Dot Productions’ Between 2Notes, the singer recalled his late mother’s valuable advice that changed his perception of success:

“One thing that my mother told me made a huge, huge impact. Once I came home, and something was going on the TV, and some kind of a voice that I thought was a certain tonality and changing times, and I was like, ‘You see, they’re all singing on shows…in Bengali I told her. ‘They’re all out there, and your son is sitting at home watching TV’. So then she very simply, with a big smile, held my hand and gave me a look, ‘We have plenty. Don’t complain’. ”

“And that really got me. It just hit me so hard, and she said it so simply and then carried on watching the show. But that stayed with me,” he added.

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Rutuja Walawalkar, Psychologist at Mpower, Aditya Birla Education Trust, says that as human beings, the way we interpret our efforts deeply impacts not only how we perform, but also how we experience life’s challenges.

Why success doesn’t always hit us?

“In our cultural narrative, struggle has often been romanticised. We hear stories of ‘fighting against all odds’ and overcoming obstacles, and somewhere along the way, constant hardship became equated with virtue. It often leads people to believe that unless they are visibly struggling, their hard work does not truly count or deserve success. But from a psychological lens, this conflation is problematic,” she explained.

According to her, hard work is effort directed towards a meaningful goal, often involving discipline, persistence, and sacrifice. Struggle, on the other hand, carries a sense of resistance and emotional suffering. “When we romanticise struggle, we end up glorifying stress and burnout, while missing the real value of consistent, meaningful effort,” she said.

Walawalkar explained that people find meaning by framing their experiences as narratives. “When someone experiences setbacks, framing it as a struggle helps them feel their journey is worthwhile, even heroic. In cultures that celebrate achievement, struggle is frequently viewed as proof of authenticity, as though enduring hardship makes one more deserving of success,” she detailed.

 

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The power of humility and gratitude

In this context, Shaan’s mother’s advice highlights the power of gratitude and humility and how they both play a transformative role in shaping one’s perception of success.

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“Gratitude allows individuals to see effort as a privilege rather than a punishment. Instead of dwelling on what is lacking, gratitude helps us focus on the resources, opportunities, and support systems that enable hard work,” she shares.

In fact, she quotes research in positive psychology that show “grateful individuals demonstrate greater resilience, higher motivation, and better overall well-being”.

Walawalkar says that humility, on the other hand, reminds us to stay grounded no matter how much we achieve. “When one acknowledges that success is not just the result of personal effort but also of circumstances, guidance, and teamwork, it reduces ego-driven pressure and prevents over-identification with struggle,” she reiterates, adding that humility fosters acceptance.