In many marriages, partners navigate insecurities, misunderstandings, and personality differences that can sometimes create tension. Legendary singer and actor Kishore Kumar was widely admired for his music and performances, but he was also known for his eccentric behaviour. In an interaction last year, his fourth wife, actor Leena Chandavarkar, recalled some unusual aspects of his personality and how his sudden mood changes left her frightened. 

Speaking to Lehren Retro, she shared, “He didn’t like it if someone called him pagal (mad). His behaviour would fluctuate; he would sometimes get very serious, and sometimes he would get childish, and you would not expect him to react in such a way at a point in time (sic),” she said.

Story continues below this ad

Leena also recalled a moment that deeply unsettled her while she was getting ready during the filming of Pyaar Ajnabi Hai. She said, “He asked me once if I had heard any rumours about him, but I refused because I didn’t want to say it to his face. I was alone in the room. I was doing my makeup during the filming of Pyaar Ajnabi Hai. When I refused to tell him… I can’t even make the face he made… but he made a face like an animal, like a very scary face. It was like he had gone mad. I had heard these things about him, so I got scared, and I started looking for my hairdresser. Then I had to agree that I had heard rumours about him. I said, ‘Yes, I agree, I have heard rumours about you’. Then he started laughing. He scared me. He told me, ‘Why didn’t you say before?’ (sic)” She added, “He would even watch horror films with the kids. It was his nature. He was like that.”

Despite such moments, Leena also said that Kishore changed significantly after their marriage. However, being his fourth wife often made her feel insecure about the stability of the relationship. She spoke candidly about how this fear once pushed her to consider leaving. “Husband and wife fight usually. You complain about, ‘Why did you come late? Which woman called you?’ These things happen, and I was very insecure because I was his fourth wife. I was like, ‘he shouldn’t get a 5th one’. I was under a lot of tension. Once, I told him that I was leaving the house. He got scared a little, but then he asked me to leave. He told me, ‘Don’t ever come back and never talk to me again (sic).’”

According to Leena, it was ultimately Kishore Kumar’s close friends who intervened and stopped her from leaving. “As I was getting in the taxi, his whole group came, and they stopped me. They told me, ‘How are you leaving? It is because of you that this 8th wonder of the world has changed (sic).’”

Coping without constantly feeling anxious or insecure

Neha Cadabam, senior psychologist and executive director, Cadabam’s Hospitals, tells indianexpress.com, “Living with a partner whose moods or behaviour feel unpredictable can be emotionally exhausting because uncertainty often triggers anxiety and hypervigilance in the other partner. The first step is establishing clear communication and boundaries. The partner experiencing distress should feel comfortable expressing how certain behaviours affect them without fear of dismissal or ridicule. At the same time, it helps to recognise that unusual behaviour or mood swings may sometimes stem from stress, personality traits, or underlying emotional challenges rather than intentional harm.”

Story continues below this ad

Practically, Cadabam adds that coping involves maintaining a sense of personal stability. “This includes nurturing one’s own friendships, routines, and emotional support systems outside the relationship so that the entire emotional balance does not depend on the partner’s behaviour.” Couples can also benefit from discussing patterns calmly during neutral moments, identifying triggers, and agreeing on healthier ways to respond when tensions rise. In some cases, professional counselling can provide a structured space to understand behavioural patterns and reduce the anxiety unpredictability can create in the relationship.

Insecurity in relationships

Feelings of insecurity are quite common in relationships, particularly when there is a history that may naturally trigger comparison or fear of abandonment. “Building trust requires consistent behaviour over time rather than occasional verbal reassurance. Partners can strengthen trust by being transparent, emotionally responsive, and dependable in their actions. Open conversations about fears or doubts also play an important role because unspoken insecurities tend to grow stronger in silence,” notes Cadabam.