Fashion designer Anju Modi recently recalled an incident where Priyanka Chopra‘s dedication and discipline shone through. The designer recalled how, during Ram Chahe Leela—a song in the 2013 film Goliyon Ki Raasleela Ram-Leela—Priyanka had to sport a handwritten Gayatri Mantra on her waist as part of the costume and body-art design, which meant hours of sitting still without any movement. “She is very disciplined. There is a memory I recall. During the song Ram Chahe Leela, the Gayatri Mantra was written by hand on her waist. Because (director) Sanjay Leela Bhansali sir is a purist. She was not to move, laugh, or speak because the artist was working. The song was not completed in one day. This kind of dedication is hard to miss. That’s why she is where she is,” she said on the Unthinkables by Sharp Pencil Design Studio podcast.

Taking some inspiration from this memory, we asked a psychotherapist to decode discipline for us.

What audiences eventually saw was a few minutes of spectacle; what they did not see was the patience, physical control, and cooperation required to create it, reflected psychotherapist Delnna Rrajesh, who is also a relationship breakthrough coach.

“Discipline is behavioural. It is the ability to remain aligned with what matters even when enthusiasm is absent, the process is repetitive, or nobody is watching. In that sense, discipline is not merely a professional quality. It is one of the most practical forms of self-leadership,” shared Delnna.

The path to success is through discipline

We tend to admire excellence at the point at which it becomes visible. We see the successful actor, athlete, entrepreneur, doctor, artist, or student after years of invisible repetition and call them talented. “Talent certainly matters, but talent without consistency has limits. Much of mastery is built in remarkably unglamorous moments: arriving on time, preparing when nobody checks, practising something already done hundreds of times, accepting correction, paying attention to detail and completing what was promised even when the excitement has disappeared,” described Delnna.

Perhaps the most underestimated benefit of discipline is the relationship it builds with oneself. Every time we repeatedly promise ourselves that we will exercise, study, save money, attend therapy, sleep on time or complete an important task and then abandon that promise at the first inconvenience, we weaken our confidence in our own word. “Conversely, following through on small commitments gradually creates self-trust. You begin to experience yourself as someone you can depend upon,” shared Delnna.

 

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For people trying to develop discipline, dramatic transformations are rarely necessary. It is more useful to begin with a few practical shifts:

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*Make commitments smaller but non-negotiable.


*Reduce dependence on mood. Decide in advance when and where an important behaviour will happen rather than renegotiating with yourself every day.


*Create systems around important goals. Prepare exercise clothes the previous night, schedule focused work, remove obvious distractions, and make the desired behaviour easier to begin.


*Measure consistency rather than intensity. A sustainable routine repeated for months usually produces more than occasional bursts of extraordinary effort.


*Build recovery into the system. Sleep, breaks, recreation and boundaries protect discipline because an exhausted brain has less capacity for self-regulation.


*Practise returning without self-punishment. Missing one day is human. Turning one missed day into abandonment is a pattern. Discipline includes the ability to begin again.