If my husband and I had foreseen that the Strait of Hormuz would dominate the news four decades after our stay in Iran, we might have paid closer attention to that strategic site. Actually, we had no excuse for ignoring it back then, for even in 1986, it was seething with unrest. During the conflict between Iran and Iraq, that volatile waterway was the scene of the infamous Tanker War, with both sides launching attacks on merchant vessels.

In retrospect, it seems strange that when hostilities were at their height, we visited Bandar Abbas, on the northern shore of the Strait of Hormuz. Of course, we wished to travel widely in Iran, but we were repeatedly cautioned against embarking on exploratory expeditions. Fighter jets, we were warned, could appear out of the blue. When it came to Bandar Abbas however, our friend Hossein rather recklessly disregarded the danger from air-raids. He was determined that we should spend a few days with him and his family in their beautiful port city.

Early one morning, Hossein picked us up from our home in Ahvaz, the capital of Khuzestan province, in southwestern Iran, and we set off on an exciting road trip of over a thousand kilometres. On the last lap of our journey, we drove along the coastline of the Persian Gulf until we reached our seaside destination after nightfall. We were warmly welcomed by Hossein’s wife Fatemeh and their three children. They served us a sumptuous spread, laid out on a sofreh, a decorative oilcloth elegantly placed over a gorgeous carpet. We enjoyed not only the traditional dishes we had grown to relish but also some that were specific to the Hormozgan province, of which Bandar Abbas is the capital.

No military talk

Forty years have passed since we sat down to that feast. As psychologists have observed, memory is selective. That probably accounts for why my husband and I recall what we ate on that joyous occasion but not the happenings at Hormuz. Most likely, the latter was not the subject of our dinner discourse. Iranians rarely spoke about military matters, since careless conversations could land them in trouble. Though my husband and I were innocuous interlocutors, the crisis was off limits.

What we did discuss were Indian food, films, and fashion. Language was no barrier, as hosts and guests communicated in elementary English and faltering Farsi.

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