Parag Tyagi recently recalled meeting his late wife and actor Shefali Jariwala for the first time at a mutual friend’s house. “I had seen Shefali for the first time at a party. She was wearing a white T-shirt. I was sure that this was where my search ended, he told Mamaraazzi in an interview.

Shefali died on June 27, 2025, at the age of 42 in Mumbai after suffering a sudden cardiac arrest.

Parag had proposed to Shefali on national television during the dance reality show ‘Nach Baliye 5’ before the couple tied the knot on August 12, 2014. Parag recently remembered her on their 16th wedding anniversary.

It is a beautiful recollection, made more poignant by the life they eventually shared. It also raises a question that has fascinated people for generations: can we really know that someone is “the one” the moment we meet them?

As a psychotherapist and relationship breakthrough coach, Delnna Rrajesh said she would neither dismiss such a feeling nor treat it as proof of destiny. “Human beings form impressions remarkably quickly. We register facial expressions, eye contact, voice, posture, warmth, confidence, mannerisms and numerous subtle social cues, often before we consciously understand what has attracted us. Sometimes somebody simply feels different. That feeling can be completely genuine. But there is an important distinction: you can know very quickly how somebody makes you feel; you cannot yet know fully who that person is.”

That final question matters because every relationship eventually contains ordinary Tuesdays as well as extraordinary evenings

Character requires evidence. Compatibility requires experience. Trust requires repetition. This is where romance and psychological discernment need to coexist, she added.

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At some point, commitment requires moving from “Could there be somebody better?” to “Is this a loving, emotionally safe and sufficiently compatible relationship in which two imperfect people are willing to build something meaningful?”

Before calling someone “the one”, therefore, love them with your heart, but permit yourself to observe with your mind too:


*Do their words and actions match consistently over time?


*Can I safely say no without punishment, manipulation, withdrawal or guilt?


*Can we discuss money, intimacy, children, careers, family involvement and boundaries honestly?


*How do they behave when they are angry, jealous, disappointed, stressed or contradicted?


*Can both of us retain our individuality, friendships and aspirations?


*Do they take responsibility and repair when they cause hurt?


*Am I loving who they are today, or predominantly who I hope they will become?


*Do I like who I become around this person?


*If the initial intensity reduced tomorrow, would friendship, respect, trust and compatibility remain?

 

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That final question matters because every relationship eventually contains ordinary Tuesdays as well as extraordinary evenings. “Passion matters. Attraction matters. Romance matters. But there must also be something left when nothing particularly exciting is happening.

There is another counterintuitive possibility worth understanding. For someone accustomed to chaotic or inconsistent relationships, stability can initially feel unfamiliar. There is no chasing, disappearing, dramatic reconciliation or constant uncertainty producing emotional highs and lows. There is simply consistency. Sometimes what feels familiar is not necessarily safe, and what feels unfamiliar is not necessarily wrong. The answer is not to distrust our feelings, but to become curious about what created them,” expressed Delnna.

Perhaps “the one” is not simply the person who gives you the strongest butterflies when they first walk into the room. It may ultimately be the person who, after the butterflies settle and real life arrives, continues to offer something far more valuable: respect without control, closeness without possession, honesty without cruelty, individuality without insecurity and love without requiring you to disappear inside it. Let the heart notice. Let the mind observe. Let time reveal, Delnna reflected.

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