Actress Anupama Parameswaran has described how her former partner systematically made her feel ashamed of her identity as a woman, her success as an actor and even her menstrual cycle.

Speaking on Dhanya Varma’s YouTube channel in a continuation of the conversation that first brought her experience to public attention, Anupama became emotional as she recalled how the relationship changed the way she saw herself entirely. “I was in a situation where I was ashamed that I was an actor. I was ashamed that I was confident. I was ashamed that I have my periods and I’m a woman,” she said.

Anupama Parameswaran explained that her former partner would routinely dismiss any disagreement or confrontation by attributing it to her menstrual cycle, regardless of when it actually fell. “First day of the cycle, fifth day of the cycle, tenth day of the cycle, fifteenth day of the cycle, twentieth day, twenty-fifth day, any day of the cycle. You confront this person for a mistake he has made, they will say, ‘Oh, you’re PMSing, your period is yet to come.’ So, I was so ashamed,” she recalled.

The pattern, she said, went beyond dismissiveness. It was designed to make her question herself every time she raised a legitimate concern. Over time, it eroded her confidence so deeply that she began to feel guilty about the very things that had once defined her: her professional success, her self-assurance and her womanhood.

Anupama then made a statement that captured the full extent of the damage. She said she once dreamed of having a large family but the relationship has entirely changed how she feels about motherhood. “I was someone who dreamt of having 11 children. At this point, I don’t even want kids. I felt so bad for being a woman. I felt so bad for all my achievements,” she said.

In the same interview, Anupama Parameswaran had described the two-year relationship as a cycle of narcissistic abuse, characterised by extreme emotional highs followed by brutal lows.

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Using characters from the Tamil film Anniyan to explain the pattern, she had said her former partner would alternate between completely different versions of himself. “One day he will be Remo. I will be showered with love and care and will possibly feel like the luckiest person alive. However, the next day he will be Anniyan. It will be the most brutal side, and he will not care a hoot about what is happening around him. The same person will play Ambi the next day, apologising to me for his mistakes and crying like a baby. He will promise to never repeat the mistakes, but then again the love cycle continues.”

She had also spoken about losing significant weight during the relationship, describing herself as “shrinking” rather than growing during a period when she should have been thriving.

The Dhruv Vikram speculation

Anupama Parameswaran has not named her former partner in any of her interviews. However, her statements have fuelled widespread speculation online about actor Dhruv Vikram, the son of actor Vikram, with whom she co-starred in Mari Selvaraj’s sports action drama Bison Kaalamaadan.

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Reports about the two being in a relationship first surfaced in early 2025, during the filming and promotion of Bison Kaalamaadan. The rumours intensified after an unverified photograph of the two went viral on social media, along with what fans claimed was a shared Spotify playlist. Their appearances together at award functions further added to the speculation.

Neither Anupama nor Dhruv has confirmed or denied the relationship publicly. Dhruv recently addressed the scrutiny around his personal life without naming anyone. “Know who you are, know what you stand for, and protect fiercely everybody that you love and everything that matters to you, or has ever mattered to you before,” he said at the Tamil Roundtable.

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