Entrepreneur Ankur Warikoo and his wife, Ruchi Warikoo, took to Instagram to share three rules they follow at home as parents. “Our children are 15 and 9. We have created these three rules for them,” Ankur said in a post.

We never lie about money

We don’t tell them that we can’t afford it or that we don’t have money. We simply say that we don’t need this thing. You may see other children have it, but you don’t need it, Ankur said.

We don’t overprotect them

If they are not able to solve something, they have to deal with it. If they are bored, then leave it. It’s important that they figure it out themselves so that they are not dependent on us, said Ruchi.

They will see us fight, but they will never see disrespect

Disagreement is acceptable, but disrespect is not. This is the cornerstone of any relationship, shared Ankur.

To understand how effective these rules are, we reached out to Dr Chandni Tugnait, MD (A.M), psychotherapist, life coach, founder and director, Gateway of Healing.

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“These cut through a lot of the noise around what modern parenting is supposed to look like. The interesting thing about these rules is how deliberately they push back against some of the most common parenting instincts, and how much psychological sense they actually make when you look closely,” reflected Dr Tugnait.

Here’s what you should consider

Here’s how these rules are effective

Never lie about money: This one is more powerful than it sounds. “Children who grow up in homes where money is spoken about honestly tend to develop a far healthier relationship with financial reality as adults. They’re less likely to carry shame around it, less likely to be blindsided by it, and more equipped to make grounded decisions when they eventually have to manage it themselves. Keeping children in the dark about money doesn’t protect them. It just leaves them unprepared,” said Dr Tugnait.

Don’t overprotect, let them figure out their own life: Dr Tugnait concurred that overprotection is one of the most well-documented contributors to anxiety in young people. “Children who are allowed to experience difficulty, make mistakes, and sit with the consequences build a kind of resilience that simply cannot be handed to them. Every time a parent steps in to smooth things over, they’re also quietly communicating that the child isn’t capable of handling it themselves. Letting children struggle through manageable things is one of the more loving things a parent can do, even when it’s uncomfortable to watch,” said Dr Tugnait.

 

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A post shared by Ankur Warikoo (@ankurwarikoo)

They will see us fight, but never disrespect each other: The third rule is the most important, and possibly the most valuable. Children don’t need to grow up believing that healthy relationships are conflict-free, because they aren’t, and that illusion sets them up poorly for their own.

“What they do need is to see disagreement handled with basic dignity. Watching two adults hold different positions, express frustration, and still treat each other with respect teaches them that conflict doesn’t have to mean cruelty, and that how you show up during a hard moment says everything about who you actually are,” said Dr Tugnait.

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