Katrina Kaif and her sister, Isabelle, were raised by a single mother. In 2014, while promoting her film Fitoor, the actor opened up about her mother’s influence on her life. “My mother lives in Madurai and runs a school for blind children. Because of her charity work, I have achieved everything in life. All of this is because of the blessings she received,” Kaif had said.

Reflecting on the actor’s statement, Kruti Shah, cell psychologist at Mpower Aditya Birla Education Trust, says that when we think about someone’s success, we usually think about the person standing at the centre of it their hard work, their talent, their choices, the risks they took, and the moments when they refused to give up. “What we often don’t see are the people who were part of the story long before the success became visible,” she tells indianexpress.com.

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The value in acknowledging loved ones

Adding, the expert notes that Katrina Kaif’s mention of her mother’s charitable work in an interview with ABP News brings up an interesting thought about that. Behind her journey in the public eye is a mother whose work and values became a part of how she saw the world. Shah says she finds it interesting when successful people look back and speak about these influences, because success can so easily become a story of “I did it myself”.

“We all like to believe that our achievements are a result of our own choices. And to a large extent, they are. It is often much later, when we look back, that we realise how much of ourselves has been shaped by the people around us,” she continues.

Katrina Kaif and her mother. (Source: Instagram/@katrinakaif)

Psychologically, Shah says that this ability to hold both sides is interesting. We can have a strong sense of our own capabilities while still recognising that we are shaped by our relationships and experiences. None of us develops in complete isolation. The way we see ourselves, deal with setbacks, understand success and even define what matters to us is influenced by the people and environments we grow up around.

And gratitude, when it comes naturally, can make relationships feel a little different. Shah believes there is a certain warmth in telling someone, ‘You were a part of this’. Not because they need credit for everything we have done, but because people generally like knowing that their presence mattered.

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Perhaps this is also why humility tends to be associated with people who seem grounded despite their success. Shah opines that such people don’t necessarily think less of themselves. They simply don’t see themselves as the entire story.

We often celebrate success by asking, “How did you make it?” Perhaps another interesting question is, “Who and what shaped the person who made it?” The answer, Shah says, may include hard work, ambition, and talent, but it may also include a family, a childhood, a few important people, and countless small moments that never made it into the success story.