The year 2026 made me realise that I am older, single, and lonely. Before this, I was happy with my circle of friends, pets at home, and living for myself. But the retrospection with advancing in age by a year came with a small nag — a feeble voice which keeps getting louder.

Have you ever wondered if loneliness can be a sound? Well, let me tell you, it is the loudest sound you have ever heard. You have to shout out aloud to hear yourself above the sound of loneliness. I speak loudly to myself on the days or nights when loneliness comes to keep me company. The gloominess it brings with it is a quicksand.

Is there a solution for this new-age illness? Whenever I hear my friends or my older relatives speak, I know that it has visited them too. Some have tried keeping the TV aloud to bring the voices of the world near them. Some have tried enrolling in various classes or social activities to ward off the illness. But it keeps coming back when one is at the most vulnerable.

I have researched about the various antidepressants and hormonal medications available for this illness. But the problem with those medicines is that they do not cure the person. They makes the person dependant on the medications to grapple with the unwelcome visitor. Social activities are supposed to be more effective. Though here again, it just helps to stall the visit.

We created this new-age disease. Every one of us wanted a world which gave us a lot of berth, space to be by ourselves, and do all the things important for us. This meant that there was little room for routines (which can be boring for most of us) or family dinners or even family or friend’s movie time together. The simple pleasures of waking up and knowing what will happen during the day is not the image of life in our heads. It may have been for our earlier generations. But not us. We want excitement, to explore ourselves and the world we live in.

Is the disease the price of this? Does anyone out there feel as I do, alone with a self that I appreciate but also a self that starves for company, a ‘routine’, familiar voices in my home rather than the sound of strangers from the TV?

All I see before me is a void I dug myself, and hands that are dragging me into the abyss. I need hands that will stop me from being dragged in. My mother had grandma and grandpa for this. I didn’t think I ever needed anyone. My pets are watching but they don’t want to join me for this ride. I am all alone.

rbkn365@gmail.com