What is masking? Therapist Jeffrey Meltzer explains why people do it and how to get over the habitUpdated on: Aug 31, 2026, 16:53:07 IST

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Therapist explains how some people take up masking as a coping mechanism and how they can work to get over the habit. 

Masking is the act of hiding one’s true feelings or intent in front of other people. It is not the healthiest of habits to have, but according to Florida-based therapist Jeffrey Meltzer, it is important for people to understand why some do it and how to help them get over it.

Taking to Instagram on August 28, Jeffrey stated, “Constantly hiding what you feel or filtering parts of yourself around other people is absolutely exhausting. If people do this for a long time, it can leave someone feeling like very few people actually know them.”

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Why do people mask?

The therapist pointed out that people mask for a reason.

“For many people, masking developed because it helped them feel safer around others,” he observed. “Maybe they learned that expressing certain emotions made people uncomfortable, or they became afraid that being fully themselves could lead to judgment or rejection.”

The difficult part is that masking often works in the short term. Jeffrey pointed out that masking can help someone avoid criticism and feel more accepted.

“So, when a coping strategy repeatedly protects you from something you're afraid of, your brain has a pretty good reason to keep using it,” he explained.

“That's why telling someone to simply stop masking usually does not help. You're asking them to give up something that may have helped them navigate relationships for years, while the fear underneath is still there.”

How to help someone stop masking?

In the words of Jeffrey Meltzer, “For the mask to start coming off, the person needs experiences that teach them it can be safe to be more vulnerable. They need to learn that expressing an emotion does not make them a burden. They also have to become more willing to feel what can happen when they let themselves be seen.”

In some cases, this means that the person has to sit with the possibility that they may embarrass themselves or the fear that somebody may judge them. Understandably, that can be incredibly uncomfortable, especially for someone who has spent years protecting themselves from those feelings.

“But when a person begins to experience relationships where vulnerability is received with care while also learning that they can tolerate the discomfort of being seen, the mask becomes less necessary,” pointed out Jeffrey. “And eventually, they may realise they do not have to work so hard to hide themselves just to feel safe around other people.”

Note to readers: This article is for informational purposes only and not a substitute for professional medical advice. This report is based on user-generated content from social media. .com has not independently verified the claims and does not endorse them.

Jeffrey Meltzer is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor based in Florida. He graduated with a Master's in Mental Health Counselling from the University of South Florida and has been providing therapy services for over seven years.

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