For almost a year, Siddharth had Aditi Rao Hydari convinced that every time he bent down, he was just tying his shoelaces. And little did she know, he was rehearsing for the big question all this time. During a recent interview, the Operation Safed Sagar actor dropped the cutest proposal story, and admittedly, we are a pile of mush.

“I proposed to Aditi in a place where she spent her childhood. Where she spent the happiest moments of her childhood. Aditi’s grandfather is a legendary academician from Hyderabad, and runs a famous school. I told her one fine Sunday afternoon, after buying the ring and making all preparations, that I wanted to see her grandfather’s school. ‘I’m a filmmaker, and I might get some inspiration for a scene’. We got permission from the school to take me there on a Sunday. One of our friends had a speaker and a camera, and I have a song that I sing for her. That song played on the speaker,” he said.

When Siddharth was on one knee, she said, “What will you do now? Tie your shoelaces? Let’s go home. Don’t waste my time.”

Adding, the actor told Zoom TV, “For one year before the real proposal, I had done 20-30 fake proposals. Wherever we would go, I’d be like, ‘Adu, let me tie my shoelace for a second. I’d done all this nonsense for a year. She’d say, ‘When you actually propose, it’ll be like the boy who cried wolf story’.”

 

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When is the right time to propose?

From a psychological perspective, Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist, The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, that there is no universal “right time” to propose. “It would rather depend on a person’s subjective reality and, more importantly, on whether both people feel they are on the same page about taking the next big step in their relationship,” she says.

For some couples, that alignment itself becomes the right time. Khangarot believes a proposal should ideally be an “expression of a decision the couple has already been moving towards, rather than an attempt to create certainty where there is still doubt”.

What about a surprise proposal?

“Whether the proposal should be a surprise or something discussed beforehand, would also depend on the relationship dynamics and the parameters of that particular relationship,” says Khangarot.

According to her, the proposal itself can absolutely be a surprise, but the decision to get married ideally shouldn’t be.

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“Healthy relationships are generally built around mutuality, communication, trust, emotional safety, respect for autonomy, shared decision-making and the ability to negotiate differences. So, a person may not know exactly when or how their partner will propose, but they should have some understanding of whether marriage is something both partners want and are working towards,” she further elaborates.

“And, very simply, if you cannot genuinely visualise sharing your space, finances, major life decisions and everyday life with this person for the next 30–50 years, that is worth paying attention to,” stresses Khangarot.

While you don’t need to have your entire future mapped out, the psychologist concludes by saying that there should be “some sense of ‘I can see myself building a life with you,’ rather than ‘I hope marriage will make me feel more certain about us’.”