Separation or divorce often marks the end of a marriage, but for parents, it also marks the beginning of a new phase of co-parenting. Actor Sohail Khan recently shared insights into his relationship with ex-wife Seema Sajdeh and how they continue to co-parent their two sons after their separation, revealing that their children live with him.

Speaking on the reality show Alliance, he reflected on a difficult period in his life, saying, “At the time kaam waam thik thak nahi chal raha tha (I wasn’t doing well on the work front), I was in a different mindspace at that time. As I said, that time changed, and because of a certain behaviour, I lost out on someone I really loved.”

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Looking back on their journey, he added, “She is the mother of my 2 beautiful children, so pyaar se zyaada mein Seema ki izzat karta hu (More than love, I respect Seema a lot). Lekin yeh jo show hai, yeh ek yaadgaar show rahega mere liye (This show will be memorable for me). Though we have separated, this show has got us back together to talk to each other, confide in each other, support each other… woh missing link tha, woh yeh show ne waapas se jod diya (that missing link, this show has reconnected it).”

Sohail also revealed, “Both the kids stay with me, so she comes to meet the kids at home, so a couple of days, like three times a week, four times a week, she comes home (sic).” When asked if she could come whenever she wanted, he responded, “I have given her the keys.” Explaining the approach they have taken as parents, he said, “No stress for the kids; she and I can handle it. I don’t want kids to feel that mom and dad fight or that mom and dad are having an argument. We have just told them, ‘Beta, you have the best of both a mother and a father, first as parents, but your parents they take discussion together’.”

But what does healthy co-parenting actually look like after separation, and how can parents put these principles into practice? We asked an expert to explain.

Building emotional security after separation

Psychologist Rasshi Gurnani tells indianexpress.com, “From a child development perspective, children cope far better with separation when they continue to experience both parents as emotionally safe, predictable, and respectful towards one another. What creates emotional security isn’t whether parents live under the same roof, but whether the child feels they don’t have to choose sides.”

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She adds, “According to Attachment Theory, children thrive when important relationships remain stable and consistent. When separated parents communicate respectfully, support each other’s parenting decisions, and avoid conflict in front of their children, it reduces uncertainty and anxiety. The child learns that although the family structure has changed, the parental relationship remains reliable. This stability is associated with better emotional regulation, healthier self-esteem, and stronger interpersonal relationships later in life.”

The foundations of healthy co-parenting

Healthy co-parenting isn’t about being best friends, Gurnani notes, it’s about creating a partnership centred on the child’s wellbeing. The most successful co-parenting relationships usually have clear boundaries, consistent communication, and mutual respect. “Decisions about routines, schooling, health, and discipline work best when parents communicate directly, calmly and keep personal disagreements separate from parenting responsibilities.”

Protecting children from parental conflict

Quick Quiz

See if you can answer this:

What is one of the most important ways separated parents can protect their children’s emotional wellbeing?

A. Ask children to pass messages between both parents.

B. Encourage children to take sides during disagreements.

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C. Keep children out of adult conflicts, communicate directly with each other, and reassure them that they are loved by both parents.

D. Avoid letting children spend equal time with both parents.

▼ Reveal the answer

✅ Correct answer: C

“Children cope best when they are protected from adult conflicts and are not expected to act as messengers, mediators or emotional confidants. Parents can support their wellbeing by communicating directly with each other, maintaining consistent routines where possible, reassuring children that they are loved by both parents, and allowing them to enjoy time with each parent without feeling guilty or disloyal,” shares Gurnani.