Alia Bhatt once spoke fondly of her mother-in-law, Neetu Kapoor, and her ability to remain positive even when life threw difficult challenges her way. The Gangubai Kathiawadi actor recalled the time when late actor Rishi Kapoor was ailing with cancer. “When we were getting married, she said, You are my daughter-in-law, and I am your mother-in-law… She shared how she had the most beautiful friendship with her mother-in-law… She speaks so fondly of Krishna aunty and the moments she shared with her. I want the same thing with my daughter-in-law, she told me,” recalled Alia.

In a chat show with sister-in-law and actor Kareena Kapoor Khan from 2024, Alia said, “She’s really very cool. She is so full of positivity and hope. I remember even during the toughest time when Rishi uncle was in hospital, and it was feeling like we were getting bad news after bad news, towards the end…I just remember her face…(she would say) let’s hope for the best…let’s keep the positive spirit up…”

Story continues below this ad

She added that Ranbir also possesses the same quality. “And I think doing that is not easy at a time like that…you can crumble and break down…it’s not that she didn’t have those moments…but she has got this natural thing…keeping the positivity and the joy up. That’s where Ranbir gets it from. Even when he is stressed, down and low, his feeling is like…don’t take it out…it’s not like it’s somebody else’s problem that I am having a bad day. I realise Ranbir gets that from her. So, she is really super cool.”

Share positivity

The ability to stay hopeful amid pain, to find light when everything around feels uncertain, is not learned in a day. It is cultivated through years of inner resilience and emotional discipline, said Delnna Rrajesh, psychotherapist, and life coach.

Neetu Kapoor’s approach — staying positive, composed, and graceful through a deep personal crisis —reflects high emotional regulation. “It doesn’t mean she didn’t feel fear or grief. It means she had the emotional maturity to hold both pain and hope at the same time. This capacity, in psychology, is known as affect regulation — the ability to self-soothe without denying reality,” said Delnna.

Many people confuse positivity with denial. But what Alia described wasn’t toxic optimism. It was the rare balance of grounded faith — acknowledging hardship without letting it define you. That’s emotional mastery, not avoidance, described Delnna.

Story continues below this ad

A parent who remains steady in the face of chaos unconsciously teaches their child emotional containment. According to Delnna, this doesn’t mean suppressing feelings; it means knowing when and how to release them.

“When a child grows up watching composure in moments of crisis, they learn that pain can be processed, not projected, shared Delnna referring to Alia’s statement about Ranbir mirroring calmness in moments of chaos,” said Delnna.