Sushmita Sen once recalled a lesson she learnt at just 21, one that shaped her approach to public life and conflict forever.

“Mujhe na kisi ne kaha tha bahut beginning of my career, I must’ve been 21 years old,” she shared. “Unhone kaha tha ki hamesha yaad rakhna ki aapse sawaal jitne bhi badtameezi se poochha jaaye, aap tameez se jawaab dena. Kyunki history will not record that question; they will record your answer.”

For the former Miss Universe and celebrated actor, the advice was about legacy. “Zehan mein baith gaya ki kuch ho jaaye, mujhe meri baat rakhni hai, aur tameez se rakhni hai. Taaki jo saamne sun raha tha usse samajh nahi bhi aaye, to baad mein, when history records it, kisi aur ke samajh mein aa jaaye.”

Choosing to respond with dignity when faced with hostility isn’t about being passive or inauthentic. Counselling psychologist Srishti Vatsa explains: “What Sushmita Sen is talking about is not about being overly polite or pleasing everyone. It’s about staying composed when someone is being disrespectful, and choosing to respond instead of react.”

Vatsa notes that many people confuse assertiveness with aggression or submission, but in truth, it’s neither. “There’s a big difference between people-pleasing and what we call assertive communication. Assertiveness means you can be calm and clear without shrinking yourself or shouting.”

Emotional intelligence behind such a choice is powerful. “If someone is rude to you in a meeting and you shout back, the focus shifts to your tone, not their behaviour. But, if you respond firmly, without losing your cool, you stay in control of the conversation and your dignity,” says Vatsa. “On the flip side, if you just nod along and don’t speak up because you don’t want to seem ‘difficult’, that can lead to resentment or burnout later.”

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Sushmita’s advice, to answer with grace even when the question lacks it, is a timeless lesson in emotional regulation, self-respect, and long-term clarity. As Vatsa puts it, “A respectful, emotionally regulated response is strength. It also helps others hear you better.”