Zeenat Aman has been a Bollywood icon throughout her career. One of the most talked-about actresses of her time, she was also among the highest-paid stars in the industry. With films such as Satyam Shivam Sundaram and Dharam Veer, she was often regarded as a sex symbol. Her personal life, too, attracted immense public attention. From her relationship with Sanjay Khan to her reportedly troubled marriage with Mazhar Khan, several aspects of her life have been discussed extensively over the decades. Now, addressing the scrutiny surrounding her personal life, Zeenat said she looks back at it all with compassion.

Speaking about how her personal life has often been discussed more widely than her professional career, Zeenat told Between Us By Anamika how she looks back at the time, “With a lot of compassion. I was young. I made choices on what I believed and what I wanted at that time.” She added, “Some choices served me and some didn’t.” Explaining her perspective, she said, “Age gives you the luxury of looking back without needing to either defend yourself or punish yourself.”

When asked about infidelity in Bollywood, Zeenat said, “Infidelity is not uniquely a Bollywood phenomenon. It is a human failing. What changes in our industry is that private relationships often become public entertainment. And I don’t think anyone benefits from turning another person’s heartbreak into gossip. That’s the truth.”

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‘Advances were made towards me’

She went on to say that while things may not have changed drastically within the industry, technology has transformed the way personal lives are documented and consumed. “What has changed is our ability to document, photograph and circulate everything,” she explained.

Zeenat also acknowledged having faced advances during her career but said she does not want to turn her personal experiences into gossip. “I have had advances made towards me. As most women in public life probably have. But I don’t want to turn my personal history into anecdotal spectacle. There are things I can discuss thoughtfully and things I prefer to keep mine,” she said.

In the same interview, Zeenat also opened up about her marriage to Mazhar Khan and the lessons she learnt from the relationship.

Marriage with Mazhar was to start a family

“Relationships are always more complicated than the version that eventually becomes gossip. What I can honestly say is that when I married Mazhar, I was ready to become a mother. And I have spoken openly about that. I believed marriage was the route to building a family and I made my choice accordingly,” she said.

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She described her marriage as an eye-opener, adding, “It taught me about the difference between love and self-abandonment. I personally stayed because I had made a commitment, because we had children and because I had hoped that things would change.”

However, she eventually realised that she could not save someone at the cost of her own well-being.

Toxic marriage taught her multiple life lessons

“Eventually, I understood that you cannot save another person by destroying yourself. I have openly spoken about having fought many of his battles, but I eventually realised and recognised that he had to help himself. He is the father of my children, so I would not like to say anything derogatory about him,” she said.

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Reflecting on what heartbreak taught her, Zeenat said, “Success can teach you confidence, but heartbreak teaches you boundaries. It teaches you that being loved is not enough if you are not respected. And that staying is not always the noble thing. Sometimes, leaving is an act of love for yourself and for the people who depend on you.”

Speaking about the toxicity she experienced in her marriage, she said, “Many women are taught to be accommodating. To interpret someone else’s behaviour generously and their own discomfort as an inconvenience. I wish I had understood earlier that discomfort is information.”

She added, “I think most women have done some version of that at some point. The danger is that you can become so good at accommodating another person that you eventually don’t recognise yourself.”

What does a healthy relationship look like?

Zeenat also emphasised that a healthy relationship should give both individuals room to grow. “It shouldn’t require you to become smaller. I have spoken publicly about how in my marriage, there was an element of being encouraged to disconnect from the outside world. It stops you from growing as an individual and an artist,” she said.

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Offering advice to those looking for healthy relationships, Zeenat said, “Look at how you feel when you are with that person. Do you feel safe? Can you disagree? Can you have your own friends, ambitions and money? Can you say no without fear? And perhaps most importantly, do you like the woman you become around this person?”

Zeenat married actor Mazhar Khan in 1985 and they had two sons, Azaan and Zahaan. She later spoke about the marriage as a difficult period in her life, marked by infidelity and Mazhar’s dependence on prescription painkillers. In an earlier interview with Simi Garewal, Zeenat said she spent years fighting his battles and caring for him before eventually leaving after around 12 years. “It took me a very long time to do that because when I left, I still cared. I had fought so many of his battles so hard for him. It was very difficult for me to leave, even though it was a question of self-preservation,” she had said.